Italian Customs: The Cheek Kiss

"Greet one another with a holy kiss."

In Italy, a simple handshake won’t always cut it. Instead, you’ll often be greeted with a warm, friendly bacetto—the classic Italian cheek kiss. It is an Italian custom that you have most likely seen before, and, if you are an American then, it is one that you might be wondering the most about. Hopefully after this post you'll feel a little more comfortable, or at least a little more knowledgeable, with how the people of this friendly culture greet one another.

Let’s go over the do’s and don’ts of this charming custom!

1. One Kiss? Two Kisses? Maybe Three?

If you’ve ever been caught mid-greeting, unsure whether to go in for another kiss, you’re not alone. The typical Italian greeting involves two kisses—one on each cheek, starting with the right. However, in some regions (like Naples), three kisses might be the norm, while others may stick to just one. When in doubt, follow the lead of your Italian host!

2. It’s Not Really a Kiss

Despite the name, the Italian cheek kiss isn’t an actual kiss. It’s more of a light air-kiss, where cheeks touch, and lips stay off the skin...for the most part. Smacking a big wet one on someone’s face? That’s not usually going to happen, but our cheeks have been kissed on a few occasions.

3. Who Gets a Cheek Kiss?

This greeting is common among friends, family, and even acquaintances. Women typically cheek-kiss both men and women, while men generally reserve it for close friends or relatives. If you’re meeting someone for the first time in a formal setting, a handshake might be more appropriate. A tip that we were taught is that you can judge by someone's handshake if they are open to this greeting. If their arm remains stiff then that's a cue that they want to keep the greeting at a distance. If you are someone who wants your new Italian friend to know that you don't want a cheek-kiss then you can rest assured that they are also paying attention to how stiff your arm is too.

4. Timing & Flow Are Key

An Italian cheek kiss is effortless and natural—no hesitations, no awkward pauses. The key is to lean in with confidence, follow the rhythm, and not overthink it. Hesitate too long, and you might find yourself in an awkward situation that you'll be thinking about much later in your day.

5. No Hugs

While hugs are common in many cultures, Italians generally favor the cheek kiss over a tight embrace—especially with acquaintances. A quick, graceful bacetto keeps things light and friendly.

I, Richard, have several male friends who prefer the universal "bro-hug" instead of a cheek kiss, so just watch which way they slant their hand when greeting you to know what to expect.

6. The Greeting Isn’t Just for Hello

In Italy, cheek kisses aren’t just for saying hello—they’re also used to say goodbye. Whether arriving at a dinner party or leaving a bar/café, don’t forget to exchange a friendly kiss on the way out.

7. How It Differs from the French Greeting

A key difference between the Italian and French cheek kiss is the starting side. Italians go right cheek first, then left, while the French often start with the left cheek first. The number of kisses also varies—while two is standard in Italy, France can range from two to even four, depending on the region. If you’re unsure, follow your host’s lead!

I have recently been told, by a couple of older Italian women that there are parts of Italy who go to the left side first, but those areas are closer to France.

Mastering the Bacetto

The Italian cheek kiss is more than a greeting—it’s a way to connect, show warmth, and embrace the beauty of Italian social culture. So next time you find yourself in Italy, lean in, keep it light, and enjoy this delightful tradition!